Dude I can't read this ? Can you translate it for me ?

That's what I felt like yelling at to the writers of all those "help" pages after 40 minutes of tirelessly pawing through reams of information on how to get your website noticed by search engines. I have a college degree and work in tech support, but all that may as well have been written in Klingon. I punched a couple buttons and hoped for the best.

But that's life with ADD. You forever have to go back and reread what you just read. Nothing makes sense to you till you get to the end and find out where its going. Because you are easily miss key words or phrases that can change the meaning of a sentence, you are forever double checking yourself. Its why reading tech manuals and other such documents can be a painstakingly tedious endeavor. Times like this I unselfconsciously find myself turning down the TV, fan, removing that dangling wind chime from the wall that's casting a distracting glare... Because a mouse fart could distract me halfway through a page of data making me have to go through it all over again.

But when my crazy brain gets it, it grasps hold of it like an iron trap and I become a master of it. But until I do, to get to that point is a brutal and very undignified process sometimes !!

I laugh at how college classmates found my research paper writing method so unorthodox. They would research and write the paper almost simultaneously using a preplanned outline for the framework. I could never write that way. No way I could even formulate an outline until I'd finished the research and fully grasped the topic. Then one day I'd lay all my notes out on the floor and stare at them for about an hour, developing a vision in my head. Then I'd put the notes in a folder, sit down and write in a nearly continuous stream for the next six hours without referencing my notes. Then I'd go back through double check my facts and mark out the source citations and spend the next week editing the thing. I usually got very good grades on big papers like that but it drove my buddies crazy seeing me work. They could never understand how my unorthodox study and research methods could work in their systematic organized world.

I had little use for the folders and neatly printed, highly detailed notes they used. I kept class notes haphazardly folded in with the text books, which were bullet points with page numbers to reference back to. Three sentence summaries of 50 page concepts and so on. My brain couldn't digest all that stuff anyhow so hit the key points, know them well, and get on down the track. And heaven help you if you interrupted me when I'm focusing on stuff. Back then I'd be quick to get in your face with a profanity laden speech on respect. But my system worked for me, and while it was never pretty somehow I always found a way to come out on top. Sort of the story of my life. Wade through a river of crap and somehow come out smelling like roses on the other side. Loved how it frustrated others to see me do that. How my methods would define the term "gloriously undignified" but I'd still be holding the blue ribbon come showtime.

I am analog man in a digital world. If we were still living in caves and hunting wholly mammoths for dinner, my intuition and visual learning style would be seen as a strength. But many many moons ago we starting growing our food instead of hunting for it and my brain didn't keep up with the evolution. Still I have been able to make it and have every reason to believe I'll find new and better ways to achieve.

Red Rambler signing off until next time.