Soil my pants or risk getting arrested. Decisions Decisions Decisions

So I'm out at Sharon Woods today enjoying the unseasonably nice weather. In the middle of a trail bowel craps hit me like a ball bat swung by Sammy Sosa in the middle of a steroid cycle.

Now I was born and raised in the country and have spent countless hours in the woods in pursuit of fish and game. I've also spent a or twenty in the field training for combat with the Army National Guard. So my first instinct is to find the nearest tree, drop trowel and expel the contents within. Or as we'd say in the military if someone was calling for a soldier over the radio who was using the restroom, "He's executing a class two down load right now".

Luckily for me within the first two steps off the trail it dawned on me. "There are a lot of parents and small children on this trail right now. Someone could see me and get the wrong impression." After all there have been a lot of weirdos in the local news lately. So the question becomes "Do I go further into the woods to ensure privacy or do I try and hold it in while walking back to the nearest restroom ?". HHMMM Well I decided it wasn't worth the risk because while I MIGHT regret it if I didn't make it back in time, I absolutely WOULD regret it if I was to be arrested for indecent exposure or something like that and regret it much worse. Almost certainly that would d be guaranteed to make the news and wrongfully portray me as some sort of sexual predator. So I hiked back and I did not make it, and I had to hose down my car with Lyscal. But once again nothing illegal about crapping your pants, NOTE I said nothing illegal, morally wrong ? that's another story and my poor driver's seat might have an opinion or five about. Gotta love the choices life and society sometimes forces you to make. :)

**Any opinions and ideas expressed here are strictly mine and mine alone. They should not in any way be viewed as the opinions of my employer or any organizations I am a member of, past, present, or future.