Everything I need to know, I learned from an NCO

Can't be too careful these days. Please remember what is written under my “About Me” applies here as it does with all articles posted on this site.

Also since as you can tell by the title I'm about to talk about some things that pertain to my time in the service, I just want to add the following disclosure/message for all the military veterans who might read this.

I state and restate this repeatedly because it is something highly important to me that all people but ESPECIALLY veterans understand. I do not seek to portray myself out to be anything more than I am. I served stateside at Ft. Knox. All things considered, it was a relatively cushy mission compared to what all of our brave soldiers where and are doing overseas. I hold those who sacrificed so much more than me in high respect and reverence. I don't want to insult them by acting like I was some kind of hard core Audie Murphy whose seen and done it all. It is a manner of personal honor to me to not do this. Plus no one can stand that guy at the end of the bar at the VFW who talks like he spent six years in the woods wasting VC but you later find he out only drove the Sergeant Major around the base in Asshole Arkansas and was later medically discharge for stubbing his toe walking into the NCO club after 6 months in the service. I do not want to ever be that guy.

Okay, thanks for humoring me by reading all that. Time to get to the point. Here this past week in Columbus, Ohio we had a hell of a snow storm hit. About twelve inches in 24 hours which is a lot for us. While on the way to the grocery to get some supplies in preparation for this impending storm, I was calling neighbors to see if they needed me to pick-up anything for them. One person HIGHLY and quite adamantly suggested I fill my bathtub and sinks with water in case we lost power for several days. People have suggested that to me before and I have always cringed at the idea for several reasons.

First and foremost, if my sinks are full of water; where on earth will I put my dirty dishes ? I mean there have been many times where my kitchen sinks are so full of dirty dishes that I've started putting them in my bathroom sink ! So what would I do with them ? Put them on the floor ? That's where the clothes are !! Do you think I'm some sort of pig ? Plus hording that much water, given how clumsy and forgetful I am, is a receipt for disaster. I'd start running the bathtub faucet and forget about it till it overflows and the floor becomes so water-logged that it collapses and deposits the tub into my downstairs neighbor's living room, and my renter's liability insurance is already high enough as it is. Plus even when I do keep-up with the cleaning, I have a serious mildew problem and if you read where I've referenced my battles with mold in past articles, you'll understand my concerns in regards to creating more damp wet environments in my apartment.

So anyhow, while parking my car at the grocery store, I noticed the collapsible shovel in the back of my vehicle. This was from my Army days and is commonly referred to as an “e-tool” short for “entrenching tool” that we used to dig foxholes, fixed-fighting positions, slit trenches, and coincidentally makes the perfect seat for executing a “class two download” when locked at a 90 degree angle if you get my drift. Just dig you a little hole, lock it into place, place one butt cheek on it, squat, aim, fire, then use it to bury the deposit. It was this recollection that made it occur to me that everything I need to know to survive this storm should we loose power was taught to me by any one of a number of sergeants I served under in my Army days. Furthermore, while it would be prudent to fill a cooler or two with water; I didn't need to horde it to the extremes my friend had suggested.

I will now elaborate. Keeping track of your equipment ESPECIALLY the equipment you need to respond to immediate threats on the battlefield is drummed into your head from day one of boot camp. In the Army that meant knowing and being within arm's reach of your weapon, helmet, gas mask, and ammunition at all times. Heaven help you if you were in the field and someone caught you walking around without your rifle and web gear on. And we kept those things literally tied onto us at all times in case they went flying out of of our hands or out of our pockets while diving for cover. And it was that thought I had in mind when I went shopping for the flashlights on my shopping list. Its why I selected flashlights that have bright read handles making them easy to find in the dark and why I placed them in places where they'd be easily and intuitively found should I need them.

Second is to always bring extra of key items that you depend on. Especially when my unit was mechanized and we ran around in armored personal carriers, my first team leader repeatedly said “God will NOT forgive those who bring only one !!!” and we always opted to bring extra spare parts for certain essential pieces of equipment in lieu of extra personal gear. Which is why I bought TWO flashlights, and a couple extra packs of batteries for electronics I'd really want in the event of being snowed-in.

Third, while food is important, drinking water is a mater of survival. I saw and treated several heat casualties during my days in the service. Trust me, you DO NOT want to get heat exhaustion or heat stroke which can happen even in the winter and are caused by dehydration. While in the field, we rarely used our drinking water to bathe or shave though we did both daily. So next on my list was a case of bottled water. Thus I ensured that I would have plenty of safe water to drink. As for cleaning, we actually gave ourselves sponge bathes with baby wipes or wet-naps. So a couple containers of them was next on my list. For shaving, I dry shaved, or like most carried a small container of shave cream. Well I guess we did splash a little water on to do that the more I think about it. Now being a spoiled lazy civilian, I just made sure my electric razor was fully charged when I got back. Easy enough. Also on the subject as you can infer from the opening paragraph, I figured if I was without power and unable to flush toilets, I'd carve an outhouse from a snow drift and use my old e-tool. Therefor, eliminating the need to horde so much water.

In battle, communication is a mater of survival. My first team leader was big on radio maintenance and knowing how to operate it correctly. He stressed that more than he did rifle maintenance and marksmanship. I distinctly remember having to stifle a chuckle once when he started one of his many rants on maintaining the radio with “That radio is the most powerful weapon on this APC !!”. I wanted to laugh because at the moment he was saying this, we were sitting in an APC loaded down with an anti-tank missile system, a 50cal machine gun, and five stocky soldiers armed with two pistols, three grenade launchers, four assault rifles, a light machine gun, bayonets, and a half dozen BFK's (Big F-ing Knives) between us. But old sarge was right. With that radio we could call our friends in a similarly armed APC to come help, artillery strikes, air strikes, and if you were on maneuvers at Camp Grayling, pizza delivery from Billy Bob's Pizza & Salmonella Shack. Now while I don't have much of a need for artillery and assistance from a M-901ITV fire team much in civilian life anymore (unless I'm driving on Hwy 270 at 5pm on a Friday near the Hwy 23 North exit) it was the knowledge that in an emergency disaster, I would need a way to get information about the outside world as well as call for help, that lead me to my next purchase. One of those hand cranked AM/FM/Weather Alert radios as well as to make sure all of my cell phone and laptop computer batteries were fully charged when I got home. This ensures I will have a way to learn of weather alerts, communications from emergency workers, and to call for help should I need to do so. Again, all of this stuff I make very sure to keep in an easily accessible place so I can quickly find it if I need it.

Lastly, if I'd have to go several days without power, I'd want to eat something eventually. Well my father, who was also a NCO with the Army, has taught me how to grill and even gave me a gas grill last year. So I picked-up a couple bottles of propane and some cuts of beef since beef can be cooked quickly, allowing me to conserve fuel. Apartment complex rules and township ordinances be dammed if I'm hungry !!

Okay, this has run long enough. Stay safe out there. Until next time, this is The RedHeaded Rambler signing off.