An introspective on an ADD Moment

Introspective on actions taken

Always remember the disclaimer listed in my “About Me” section.

Funny story, upon finally getting my word processor set-up to write this article, I was momentarily interrupted by my stove timer. It took me nearly 10 minutes to realize why I had set it in the first place !!!

Religion and politics, oh what a potent combination. More combustible than saw-dust and gas, or a bottle of nitroglycerin on the dashboard of a bumper car. Wars have been fought countless times when the two are combined. Friends of mine work at a company that actually bans having discussions about them in the employee handbook !!

By and large, I’ve been reluctant to discuss them at the same time, for one simple reason. I want to develop a readership following and discussing them, is the quickest and surest way to isolate people. Also I don’t want to wander too far away from my initial purpose for starting this blog . To help shed light on mental illness and share my own story, in hopes of reassuring others, that they are not alone. I want to beat back the stereo types people too often associate with mental illness. I was inspired by a program run by the wonderful people of NAMI called StigmaBusters and wanted to contribute to their cause in my own way. The link which will now be listed in my helpful links. For us fellow ADD sufferers here it is right now: http://www.nami.org/template.cfm?section=fight_stigma.

Are you back ? Good because I momentarily lost my train of thought anyhow. Oh there it is, here’s where things get a tad sticky and what was on my mind when I wrote the part of my disclaimer stating “There is no way to tell my story without wading into what campaigners call ‘Hot Button’ issues”. There is a reason I know that term, I spent a good deal of my younger adult life working as a right-wing-partisan-political-hack. Between the ages of 19-24, there wasn’t a Republican election campaign too big or too small for me to jump on. One needs only dredge-up a year book for one of the universities I attended to know that at one point, I headed-up a College Republican organization. This is a matter of public record. But don’t worry, I’m not a ultra conservative right winger anymore. While my voter registration might still list my party affiliation as Republican, I don’t openly associate myself with the party anymore. The reasons are long so more on that some other day.

But I will share these two stories. First, as I was pondering how to put this article together on my drive into work, I had to laugh. As a political science major, I once had an esteemed member of the Franklin County Republican party tell me, “The thing is, these young kids go into college super conservative, but come out ultra liberal”. To which I adamantly replied “Don’t worry sir, that won’t happen with me”. Well I was right in one respect, I didn’t leave ultra liberal, but I did leave being much more of a moderate. Its pretty simple reason though. In political science, we learned how to read critically and to weigh the merits and drawbacks of each view point. I left understanding that things are much more complicated than they might seem to be and to have respect for the ideas and opinions of even those whom I don’t agree with. The world is full of grey, and few things are black or white.

It didn’t help that while working phones on more than one campaign, I fielded one too many calls at 2pm on a Wednesday from one too many highly intoxicated constituents that started off with “Did you hear Rush Limbaugh said today ?”. It took an immense amount of mental fortitude to not scream into the phone “No you a-hole I didn’t. Do you know why I didn’t ? Because I was too busy WORKING !! And I wouldn’t listen to him even if I did have the time. Do you know why ? Because I have too many more important things to do in the middle of a work week than start drinking at 10am and listen to talk radio !!!”.

Where’s this rambling stream of thoughts going and how does it tie into life with ADD. Simple, earlier yesterday I made a bit of an ass of myself after reading some things posted on Facebook and an old acquaintance’s blog. Nothing major or life changing, just acted on impulse and came off a little more roughly than I would have liked. ADD is not an excuse, it’s a condition. Still I found the circumstances under which I made that mistake interesting. Like a lot of people with ADD, I take stimulant medication as well as an antidepressant. I usually don’t take it until just before I hop into the shower to prepare for work, so that it will be in full effect by the time I get there and last for my entire shift. Also like most, it takes me a hell of a time to get up, and about 90 minutes to fully wake-up once I’m out of the bed. I am irritable during this time and frequently like to play a game of “Lets pick a fight over nothing” which I‘ve also learned is typical of people with the condition. Why ? Because something is wrong with the frontal lobe of my brain and adrenalin helps stimulate it. A primal survival instinct if you will. So when I read some of the things that this person said, it legitimately hit a nerve with me, and I roughly responded with a half thought out reply which made me look like an idiot. After going for a nice brisk walk, my frontal lobe was functioning more efficiently and I issued the following apology. Its been edited because it was part of an apology letter and I don’t want the recipient to think I was insincere and merely plugging my own blog.

Keep in mind it was in response to an article about the Ohio State Legislature being called into session over Christmas. Here it is.

I would like to take this opportunity to better explain why some of the things you expressed in your last article hit a nerve with me.

For starters, I am no stranger to legislative budget battles. Between 2000-2001, I had a first row seat to a lot of them, as an Ohio Senate Paige. I started off working for then President Protempora Senator Robert Cupp (now Ohio Supreme Court Justice Cupp). He carried much of the legislation for education finance reform. When term limits forced him to leave, I floated around working for the Clerk’s office, the Republican Caucus, Chairman of the Finance committee, and Bob Gardner who chaired the Education Committee. I could tell you a lot of war stories in regards to things I saw, but this would turn into twenty pages. While my own story is much more complicated than that, a lot of what I saw there played no small part in my decision to leave politics and the military for that matter. See the article from my own blog: http://theredheadedrambler.blogspot.com/2009/11/why-i-started-this-blog.html. if you care to know more. Sufficient to say, I’m not blowing smoke when I say, I know how rough and stressful this process can be on the staff. My heart goes out to some of my friends who are still around such as Matt Schuler, Ray DiRossi, and Mr. Berrara.

Still the fact remains that the staff and the legislators by an large enjoy a much higher standard of living that a lot of Ohioans do this year. No doubt its changed since then, but at the time I left the Ohio Senate, the base pay for an Ohio Senator was $40,000 plus benefits. You earned more based on what committees you served on, and still more for holding Chairmanships and leadership positions plus benefits. I think I saw where one legislator was making upwards of $80,000. Not bad for a part time job. Furthermore, most had full time employment or businesses in addition to this, such as private law practices and gas station chains. The pay for full time staff ranged from $35,000 on up and they get comp time for working over 40 hours. While not every lobbyist earns seven figure salaries like Niel Clark, few are having to count their pennies to buy lunch either. At a time where unemployment in Ohio is at 10.6% and this whole phenomena of “under-employment” is becoming more prevalent, you can understand why I don’t exactly loose sleep at night knowing these people will be working on Christmas. Long after Santa has made his rounds, I’ll still be on the clock too.

The reason I left the Senate was to answer the call to Active Duty, and while I wasn’t overseas, still I was standing the line on Christmas. It was the first Christmas I ever spent away from home, and when I got off duty, it was one of the most intoxicated nights I can remember. Hearing stories from fellow soldiers and veterans who have been overseas on Christmas, I can only imagine how much harder it is on them and their families. The harsh and depressing reality of the matter is that young American men and women will be injured and die in service to our country that day, small children will become orphans, young women will become widows. These are the realities and perspectives one looses when they spend too much time inside hwy 270 and when you let your life revolve around what happens in Cap Square too much. I know, I too have made that mistake.


Most importantly, I want to better elaborate on why I have such issues with the following statements make in your article. “For me & for many Christians there is no day on the calendar more sacred than Christmas Day“. First let me start by saying that I can somewhat understand your perspective as you are of the Catholic Faith, whereas I am of the Lutheran Faith. While the two churches are united in their belief in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, and within the last ten years, policies of the two have changed such that we can share the Sacrament of Holy Communion together, still there are some fundamental differences between the two. Chief among them being that the Roman Catholic Church holds that the Virgin Mary is Devine or almost Devine, I don’t fully understand it exactly, but I do know it is significant in your faith. So I can see where Christmas might be more sacred to you, than it is to those of my own faith.

Still to call it the “most sacred” of holidays, is to totally miss the whole point of Christianity. The Lutheran Church’s doctrine can be summed up in the Bible verse that struck hard into the hard of our founder Martin Luther. Ephesians 2:8: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And that is not of your own doing, but is the true gift of God”. I think I can best sum up my strong feelings by quoting another article from my
blog: http://theredheadedrambler.blogspot.com/2009/11/why-this-christian-likes-thanksgiving.html
“Yes the Christmas story is important, but ultimately Christ’s visit to Earth would just be another hash mark in the time-line of human history had it not been for his death and resurrection on that tree in Calgary, which gave us the gift of eternal life. That is the ultimate gift of love and sacrifice. It is ultimately why Christmas has meaning.

To all my friends and readers I wish you a safe and happy holiday season. I hope you all get a chance to break bread with family and friends during this time. May the hope of joy and peace, which is the true spirit of the occasion, find you this year and the next one“.

RedHeaded Rambler signing off